


First Breath After Coma

by ModernMyth



Category: Party Down
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-16
Updated: 2012-08-18
Packaged: 2017-11-12 06:23:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/487701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ModernMyth/pseuds/ModernMyth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Henry doesn't like a lot of people - very few at all, really. But he's pretty sure he's  going to like her." Henry and Casey's relationship, during and between the episodes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Henry likes Casey the moment he meets her. _Christ_ , she's attractive, and she helps him make fun of Ron within about twenty seconds of meeting her, so she seems alright in his book. Henry doesn't like a lot of people - very few at all, really. But he's pretty sure he's  going to like her.

 

He can't quite help the twinge of disappointment that hits him when he finds out she's married. He's known her all of ten minutes, and she doesn't even remember his name, so he shrugs it off and takes another drag from his cigarette.

 

But Henry can't really deny that by the end of the gig, as he is packing up all the liquor bottles from behind the bar, he is really starting to like this Casey Klein chick.

 

*     *    *

 

It would seem that Casey is probably moving anyway, which he's sure is for the best because she's married, and he can't really stop thinking about what she would look like naked, which is a bit of a distraction at work, to be sure.

 

He'll never really know what she looks like naked, which is a good thing because he doesn't want to be _that guy_ who breaks up a marriage, or anything, and god, he doesn't even know why the hell he's thinking about this because there's no chance in hell it's ever going to happen anyway, and he doesn't know why his mind won't just shut the fuck up about it.

 

Mostly, she's just really hot and the only reason work is sometimes kind of okay because she's really funny and has really nice eyes, and fucking _shit_ why is he even thinking about her eyes because nothing's going to happen ever so he should really get over it and move on with his life or whatever.

 

But then she's telling him that she's going to stay in LA instead of moving to Vermont, and he's both excited and pissed because he's going to get to see her all the time, but that is both a great and horrible thing.

 

So he just takes a shot of whiskey before he leaves work that evening and hopes for the best.

 

*     *     *

 

Henry is really fucking high.

 

Like, baked off his ass, high.

 

He hasn't been this high since his junior year of college, and the whole concept is really quite laughable. He doesn't know what the fuck they're putting in pot these days, but that shit is _good_.

 

He walks into the kitchen, and Casey is there, downing a shot, and he just smiles goofily because he really likes Casey, and he'd forgotten what it was like to be this stoned.

 

So he walks up to her and starts to tell her that he just smoked a joint in the bathroom with one of the old guys and Constance, but she looks really upset and is suddenly telling him that she's getting a divorce.

 

And god, it takes what feels like an hour for her words to sink in because _what the fuck_ , she's getting a divorce? He doesn't know how to react because he really does feel bad and he doesn't want her to be upset, but he's also really fucking glad because then maybe, just maybe, he might have a chance to at the very least get it on with her.

 

He's kind of noticing that his feelings for her aren't just of the we-would-have-awesome-sex variety, but it's all he can really handle thinking about, so he likes to pretend the other parts don't really exist because for crying out loud, she's still married, and she doesn't seem like the type of woman that really does the whole feelings thing very well to begin with.

 

Henry just sort of puts a hand on her shoulder in support, and she clutches his hand, and they just kind of stand like that for a minute while he tries really hard to be the supportive friend because she could clearly use one of those, but then a few seconds pass and suddenly her tongue is in his mouth.

 

She tastes like vodka and maybe a hint of cinnamon from the gum she was chewing earlier, and he feels like a bit of an idiot because he's got really bad cotton mouth and thinks his mouth must be really dry, but Casey either doesn't seem to care or doesn't seem to notice, and crap, maybe he's being paranoid? He hasn't smoked weed in a _while_ , after all, and to be honest, when he does, it's usually the cheap shit that gives him a nice buzz but not the stuff that takes you to a new dimension or anything.

 

Yeah, he's definitely being paranoid.

 

Holy shit, though, Casey is a really good kisser. It's a little sloppy because neither of them are particularly sober, but it's good. _Really_ good. He's propped her up on the table now, and they're knocking all kinds of stuff over like mixing bowls and spatulas, and he can hear them clattering to the floor in the background, but Casey's wrapping a leg around his waist and sort of pressing against him, and _holy shit_ that feels good.

 

He moves his mouth down to her neck and knocks his chin into her bow tie and wants to laugh, but she gasps a little bit when he sucks on the flesh, so he just sort of smiles against her for a second and then goes back for more because he really wants to hear her make that noise again.

 

She does make the noise again, that little gasp, and Henry pulls back momentarily and fiddles with her bow tie to take the stupid thing off. He pockets the thing after he's finally removes it. Casey stops him before he can lean in to kiss her again, gently putting a hand to his chest and biting her lip in this way that makes his pants feel significantly less comfortable. 

 

Then she's grabbing his hand and dragging him along and out the door, after a quick, "C'mon, let's go somewhere else."

 

She takes him to some room he hasn't seen before, but he's excited because there's a comfortable looking couch. Casey all but pushes him inside the room and onto the couch, and she climbs on top of him. Henry works at unbuttoning her shirt while she kisses him in this really delicious manner, and his elbow accidentally bumps into her while he's half-way through undoing her shirt, but thankfully she just laughs and sits up and finishes the job herself, leaving the shirt hanging on her shoulders.

 

Casey sort of grinds against him subtly while she works his bow tie off of him, and he lets out a low groan, and she just gives him this confident smirk and throws his stupid bow tie to the ground and starts to unbutton his shirt. Once she's got it undone, she moves in to kiss him with such a fierce intensity that it knocks them both half-way off the couch.

 

They both chuckle a bit but neither tries to move their position. Henry's back is planted into the ground, legs still on the couch, and Casey is on top of him, kissing him like there's no tomorrow. He's reaching up to grab a handful of her breast when some guy walks in on them, looking for the damn bathroom, and they both sort of just shout at him to go away.

 

He leaves in a hurry, and the pair of them take several seconds to heave a few deep breaths and look at each other. Henry can't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation, and her eyes are twinkling with barely-contained mirth.

 

She breathes out a quick, "Fuck it," and goes back to kissing him.

 

They slide all the way down onto the floor and can't be bothered to get back onto the couch. 

 

Henry cups her breast through the material of her bra, and she undoes his belt buckle. He helps her push his pants down around his ankles. She strokes him through his boxers, and he lets out a low moan. He sits up and kisses her forcefully, then peppers a line of tiny kisses from her mouth, across her jawline, down her neck, all the way to her shoulder. He yanks her shirt, which is hanging loosely off her arms, off of her and throws it to the floor.

 

He unhooks her bra while she presses kisses all over his chest, and he flings to offending garment to the ground, somewhere near her shirt and reaches up to cup her breasts, while she lets out a tiny gasp. He rolls one of her nipples between his thumb and forefinger, and she lets out a low moan and juts her pelvis against his.

 

Henry props himself up on his elbows and pulls her down so he can take her nipple in his mouth and give it some proper attention. He's caressing the other breast with his hand and raking his teeth over her nipple when she pulls away, with a very labored breath. 

 

He starts to ask what's wrong, but then she's climbing off of him so she can shrug out of her pants.

 

She glances at him quickly and asks, "Do you have a…?"

 

"Yeah," he breathes out a sigh of relief, and grabs his in-case-of-emergency condom out of the pocket of his pants and kicks the garment off completely once he's retrieved it.

 

It's all such a haze, the way it happens, because he's still really high, and she snags the condom from him and pulls his boxers down off of him in a matter of seconds, and she's slipping out of her underwear, and then _holy shit,_ Casey is naked and rolling a condom onto him, and he's wondering how the hell this happened.

 

Then she straddles him and kisses him quickly as she sinks down slowly on top of him with a shuddering gasp. Casey grinds down on top of him, moving her hips in a hungry, circular motion, and Henry's mind goes blank.

 

What the _fuck_ do they put in weed these days? _Seriously?_ They've only been going at it for a minute or two and god dammit if it's not some of the best sex he's ever had in his entire life. He kisses her everywhere he can and after a few minutes decides to change things up and flips them over. He thrusts into her with abandon, and she wraps her legs around him and rakes her fingernails down his back, digging her nails into his skin with every careful thrust. 

 

Henry kisses her with fervor, and he can feel her breath hitch against his mouth when he reaches down to rub her clit in gentle circles. She lets out a breathy ' _fuck_ ' when her walls start to clench tightly around him. She comes with a quiet laugh and a grin, grabbing at his hair and tugging on it, trying to find purchase.

 

The smile on her face might actually be the sexiest thing he's ever seen in his entire life, and it only takes a few more strokes before he lets go with a low groan, burying his face in the crook between her neck and shoulder. 

 

Casey lets out another laugh, somehow euphoric and self-deprecating all at once. Henry joins in along with her. How in the hell did he even get into this situation?

 

She presses her lips together and smiles, appearing somewhat embarrassed, and Henry climbs off of her, quickly throwing the used condom in the nearest trash can while she starts redressing.

 

Is he supposed to say something? Oh god, is she waiting for him to say something? Christ, maybe he's still paranoid.

 

But then she's dressed, grabbing her bow tie from the pocket of his pants, and fixing her hair and giving him this _look_ that he couldn't quite explain. But he could read the humor in her eyes, and she just sort of winks at him and says, "See you later, Pollard," and leaves the room like it was nothing. 

 

Well, shit.

 

Henry dresses as quickly as he can and goes back to work, wondering what in the hell has just happened to him.

 

*     *     *

 

Henry's back hurts.

 

It's all he can focus on, really.

 

His back really fucking hurts.

 

He really shouldn't have had sex on the floor when Casey jumped his bones because apparently it is now affecting him in an extremely painful manner.

 

Granted, he can't particularly regret it because _wow_ , that was really great sex, and he actually got to see Casey naked, which he never anticipated. 

 

So when he sees her, he's flirty and tells her that she fucked his back up, and suddenly she's more closed off than she ever has been with him. _Crap_. He really was trying to play it cool.

 

Well, if she's going to be like that, he can be an ass, too. 

 

Henry spins tales of the sex being adequate (even though he can't remember the last time he's had sex that good, _wow_ ) and is pretty sure he slips something in about souls and connecting to other people with a vaguely sarcastic spin that he's pretty sure he means at least a little bit and hates himself for.

 

Later that night, she tells him some story about the mysteriously fabled pancake lady, and he wants to laugh because she really is onto him, dammit.

 

Yeah, he's actually kind of an asshole, but he really wants to have sex with her again and is starting to actively like her because she's not married anymore (okay, well maybe she technically is because divorces take a while, but she's no longer committed to her legal husband, and that's good enough for him if it's good enough for her). And _shit_ , he honestly really does want a chance with her, but he doesn't see that happening, like _ever_ , so if just getting to sleep with her from time to time instead is in his reach, he's going to go for that.

 

But damn, he doesn't know why he even tried to pull that, because she is so completely onto him it's not even funny. 

 

He's not even really sure how it happens, to be honest, but by the end of the job that day, they're making out against a wall in the back room, and suddenly they've agreed to this casual sex relationship type thing, and she's dragging him to her car, and they're suddenly having really fucking amazing sex in her backseat, and he really has no idea how he got this lucky because she's just this amazing fucking woman, and _shit_ , he needs to lock those feelings up and away because he knows that's not what this is and not what she's interested in.

 

She also somehow manages to be fucking hilarious even in the middle of sex, which you would think would be annoying because _hello_ , it's the middle of sex, but it's actually incredibly endearing and Henry is pretty sure he'd be fairly okay with never having sex with anyone but her for the rest of life.

 

Which is an extremely terrifying thought that he pushes away back into the furthermost recesses of his mind because _where did that even come from_?

 

God, he needs to get his life together. But then Casey is doing this thing with her hips and riding him in the backseat of her car and his mind goes all kinds of blank, and he can't focus on anything but the feel of her in his hands and in his lap and surrounding him completely in this incredible, heady manner that he really, really loves more than he would care to admit.

 

 _Fuck_.

 

He really does like her, doesn't he?

 

*     *     *

 

Casey, as it turns out, is really fucking sexy when she's on ecstasy. 

 

He's only rolled once before in his life, when he was 19 and this girl he was seeing at the time convinced him to do it. He was at this party in college, and his freshman year was almost over, and she handed him this pill with a smiley face on it and told him their sex would be amazing if they took it together, and she had been right. Well, it was as amazing as sex between a couple of reasonably inexperienced college freshman could be, at the very least. 

 

But Casey is all kinds of all over him and kissing him in public, and her lips feel sweet against his, and he feels like he might actually already be half in love with her if he takes the time to really think about it. He doesn't, though, of course, because now she's telling him he should be on ecstasy, too, and he's never wanted to take some MDMA more in his entire life because holy crap look at Casey, he wants to do this with her.

 

She's all over him and warm and sexy, and he's literally shouting in the middle of the party while on the job, asking if anyone has an ecstasy, so clearly, that's professional and not at all desperate. 

 

He's really glad there aren't any cops here because he probably could have stood to be a little more discreet when asking for illegal substances.

 

Casey keeps disappearing while he's on the hunt, curled up on the couch and being the cutest thing he's ever seen and wanting to make-out with him and _talk_ to him about everything and nothing, which is crazy to him because Casey doesn't like to talk. Really, that's kind of what he's truly looking forward to if he does manage to find some e, which makes him hate himself a little bit. Emotions aren't supposed to be part of their arrangement. Casey has made that clear on more than one occasion.

 

Henry, thank god, does manage to find some ecstasy and is way more excited about it than he would like to admit because he would be willing to bet their sex will be amazing. He pops the pill quickly and starts to look for Casey. He doesn't find her for about 45 minutes, when it's first starting effect him, and she's leaning up against a wall looking sick, and _oh fuck_ , she's coming down. His first thought is 'this sucks' and his second is that he really just wants to take care of her because she looks absolutely miserable. He hadn't thought about the side effects when she'd convinced him to take ex with him, but now that he's thinking about it, he can remember the come down from that one night in college and how he felt like he just wanted to die because it was the most miserable feeling in the world, and he doesn't want Casey to feel that way.

 

He tries not to be too obvious about the fact that he's now feeling fairly high and wondering how her hair would feel in his hands and how her lips would feel on his and how she's really pretty and how he wants to kiss the tip of her nose. But he offers to take her home instead of telling her these things because he doesn't want to be an ass, and she's brushing him off and is not interested in making-out and cuddling and talking until dawn. Then she's gone. 

 

Suddenly, it's over an hour since he took the drug, and he's alone except for a couple of porn industry works, and he can't stop bouncing on his heels and talking about grammar, and he can only think that he feels really amazing right now but will probably live to regret this.

 

*      *     *

 

He's shocked when he runs into his old acting buddy from college at an event, and even more shocked that the guy seems to be making it in the big time. And he's even more shocked when his buddy decides he wants to help him get back in the business.

 

Henry's not really sure how to feel about any of it because he quit acting for a reason. He killed his career with those idiotic beer commercials, and he's sick of the rejection. He's a failure. He's a loser. He's at a point where he's actually pretty okay with it. 

 

But Michael really thinks he'd be great for this role, and the guys knows his acting, so he honestly wants to believe him. But he's not an actor anymore. He's really not.

 

Of course, then Casey shows up at the bar and talks to Michael about it and tells Henry that he would be much more awesome if he was making it big and playing Young Lincoln in this movie, and dammit, obviously he has to go for it now. Casey wants him to.

 

She really shouldn't be the reason he does it, he knows, but here he is, anyway, allowing himself to be dragged around by Michael and show off his jawline.

 

He gets his hopes for a whole five minutes until it all blows up in his face, and he vows to never _try_ again.

 

*      *     *

 

Henry feels like a fucking idiot for it, but he knows that it's when she asks if anyone's around and then leans into him for a hug, that he starts to think he might just be able to keep this. She went to him for comfort, and he doesn't remember that being part of their sexy arrangement, and he's actually really excited about it because he's getting exhausted of denying that he wants them to be something more. So he starts to hope, just a little bit, in that moment when she leans her head against his chest and breathes into his body for comfort.

 

Of course, he feels like the biggest fucking idiot in the damn world about an hour later because suddenly Casey is flirting up a storm with Rick Fox. He's fucking pissed, and he thinks maybe he doesn't have the right to be, but he can't fucking help it, okay? Maybe they'd had conversations about how they were just a casual hook-up, but she also liked to call him after hours and sometimes they'd hang out and one time they saw a movie together and she went to him for comfort like an hour ago okay, can't he have at least a little bit of claim over the situation?

 

So when she goes off to Rick Fox's room, Henry wants to punch everyone and everything in sight. So instead, he takes a shot of vodka and clenches his fists, fingernails digging into his palms, and goes on about his job because even though he's mad and jealous as hell, he's not the kind of person who can just punch someone in the face because he's in a bad mood, so. Even if Roman is being fucking annoying and possessive over Casey when if anyone should get to be possessive over Casey, it should be him (goddammit, he really does fucking hate himself, he's ridiculous).

 

He goes off to find her because he's a self-loathing prick, apparently, and he's also really fucking mad at her and wants to prove himself wrong. That maybe she's not off fucking Rick Fox right now. 

 

Then he finds Rick Fox. Casey isn't there, _thank god_.

 

Oh, she just left.

 

 _Great_.

 

All he can really do is stare at the guy in silence because his heart is feeling annoyingly heavy. 

 

Eventually, he heads back to the team meeting, and Casey is there, ready to flirt and crack jokes with him, and he can't look her in the eye no matter how hard he tries to. He can't play it cool. God, he wants to play it cool. This was their agreement, wasn't it? No feelings, just sex. He'd told her he was okay with that. He wanted to be okay with that. Sometimes, he even thought he _was_.

 

But he's pretty sure she fucked Rick Fox because she left her phone in his room, and he's not sure he's ever been this jealous in his entire life.

 

Now Ron is making them toss this ball around and do some lame ass team building exercise, and oh fuck, did Casey just reveal that they were sleeping together?

 

She's looking at him, face raging, and accusing him of telling everyone, and he almost wants to laugh because it's so fucking ridiculous. He hasn't told anyone they've been hooking up. It's her hooking up with Rick Fox that's the problem, but now she's gone and told the group about their arrangement, and Roman is basically screaming at him, and everything is just the worst.

 

It all ends in this huge fight, and he realizes there is nothing here for him.

 

He needs to get over it.

 

He's crazy about this girl, and it's never going to happen, not for real, anyway, so he needs to suck it up and deal and move on with his life.

 

So he takes a job interview, and of course it's the fucking worst job imaginable - like, seriously, telemarketing? Christ, he's not going to be a telemarketer. He hates his current job, but it's still better than that bullshit.

 

Henry resolves to move on, though. Maybe he'll keep his job, but it's time to shut down his feelings for Casey. And she's not even talking to him, anyway, so their hook-up arrangement is probably over, he supposes.

 

So he takes another shot and tries not to let it hurt too much.

 

*     *     *

 

Casey is still furious with him for his jealousy, and Roman is still furious with him with jealousy, so moral of the story, work is miserable. 

 

But then there's this woman who approaches him when he's out smoking a cigarette, and she's flirting with him, and it's just so out of the blue. But she's really hot. Her name is Ula, and she has an accent, and she's not his usual type, but _damn_ , she really is smokin'. And he did sort of vow to give up on Casey, and work is miserable, so he's not going to complain.

 

Except, yeah, he's going to complain because he made out with her, and it turns out she has a boyfriend, and that boyfriend is most a likely _A FUCKING MURDERER_.

 

He's never actually had a panic attack before, but he can feel himself starting to hyperventilate and shake and thinks he might be having his first one right now.

 

He knows Casey is pissed at him, but he really fucking hopes she'll be understanding when he grabs her and starts calling her his fiancee because, jesus, he's trying to save his life here! She's obviously reluctant and annoyed, but he thinks that she can hear the desperation in his voice and grudgingly plays along, thank _god_ , even if she's not being particularly convincing. 

 

Henry fills her in on why he'd roped her into the situation a few minutes later, and he's fucking terrified and kind of angry, but he also wants to smile because Casey is acting jealous. _Jealous_. Of him flirting with another woman. He knows he vowed to give up on this, to give up on her, but now she's jealous, and he's feeling things all over again. 

 

It's laughable, really, the way she bypasses the idea of him getting murdered and goes straight into arguing over his flirtation. But he really likes it, dammit. 

 

She plays along for the rest of the night, but she takes the time to make snide remarks about his 'eurotrash piece of work girlfriend,' and he actually grins a little bit. He never thought he'd be the kind of guy to find jealousy attractive, but on Casey, it really is kind of hot.

 

By the end of the night, they're both smiling and laughing together, and yeah, they're still kind of pissy and mutually jealous, especially when Casey finally admits to making-out with Rick Fox, but they're calling it even, and he's really, really fucking glad. 

 

Maybe he's getting to the point where he can't deny his feelings for her anymore, and maybe he's starting to hope that she might have some feelings for him, too, but he's laying it all out as a bunch of hypotheticals for the time being because there is no way he can trust this. Not yet.

 

But he can hope. And maybe he just will.

 

*     *     *

 

He's really starting seriously think about moving back home and in with his parents. All he's got going for him here is this tiny studio apartment, a stack of bills, no real friends, and a casual hook-up with Casey.

 

That last bit makes his heart hurt a little bit because he wants more. He wants so much more with her that it's making him crazy to be around her when he knows she will probably never feel the same.

 

He spends some time baiting her when she approaches him about the so-called rumor and is secretly kind of glad she's upset about it. But really, what is he still doing in LA? There's no place for him here. He's not in the acting business anymore, so he may as well stop pretending. 

 

Casey really doesn't want him to move back home, though, and when he asks if it's because she's going to miss him, she just rolls her eyes and plays it off like she could care less about whatever the hell this thing they have going on is, and that she just doesn't want him to be that lame 30-something guy who lives with his parents.

 

But he's pretty sure he's in love with her, and she just wants a hook-up, and he has no business being here anymore.

 

She drags Ron's high school friend over for a drink to give an example of some loser who lives with his folks, and Henry can't help but wonder where the hell her head is at.

 

Why does she want him to stay? Because she doesn't want him to get all lame? He's already lame. He can barely make rent and afford his phone bill, and he's got a shitty service job and has no decent job prospects. If she doesn't want to be sleeping with a loser, she picked the wrong guy to fuck. 

 

But what if…what if she wants him to stay because _she wants him to stay_? Could there be something more to it? God, he wants there to be something more to it. He knows that if she could give him something more, something real, he would stay in a heartbeat. 

 

And then suddenly he can't help himself.

 

He's asking her to ask him to stay.

 

Maybe not in so many words, but holy fuck, now she's talking about how she has strong feelings about wanting him to stay and just isn't good at expressing them, and oh my god, is she really saying what he thinks she's saying?

 

Hope is one god damn dangerous thing.

 

He just stares at her for a bit while the guy in front of him rambles on about something involving drinking buddies and rodeo clowns, and he asks her if they can talk in the back because suddenly his mouth is dry, and they need to have this fucking conversation _right now_.

 

God, this might actually be the most uncomfortable talk of his entire life. He knows he's better with emotions than Casey is, but it's still difficult for him to stumble out the words, telling her that he needs something to build a life around. Telling her that if she asks him to stay that he will.

 

She's silent for a long time, just staring at him, and god, he really wishes he was better at reading her because he honestly has no fucking clue what she's about to say. His heart is beating a mile a minute, and his mind is racing and chanting the words 'ask me, ask me, ask me' on a quick and anxious loop.

 

"Okay, then stay."

 

She says it in this embarrassed, adorable tone, and he knows Casey is doing everything she can to play it off casually. But it doesn't quite work out that way because, really, she's essentially just told him that she's okay with him building his life around her. She's admitted her feelings to him. She's admitted she _wants_ him.

 

He honestly never thought this would happen.

 

Then she's leaning in and angling her head in that really cute way she does and kissing him all sweetly, and he can't keep the grin off his face and smiles into the kiss because wow, this is finally actually happening.

 

The sex they have that night, after she's asked him to stay ( _for her,_ he keeps reminding himself a little too happily) is amazing. She comes over to his tiny, crappy apartment for only the second time in the history of their hook-ups. 

 

His place is a wreck because they'd been fighting, and he was hardly expecting her to come over when he'd started his day.

 

But she just sighs dramatically, rolls her eyes, and says, "You're so lazy, Pollard."

 

She's got this tiny smile on her face when she says it, though, and she helps him throw out his the empty Chinese take-out containers and beer bottles, and then she shoves him towards the bedroom and follows behind him.

 

She certainly seems to want to finish what she'd started in the hallway earlier. Casey climbs on top of him, and he's pretty much expecting her to ravish him because when they have sex, it's usually fierce and passionate and intense and a bit rough. But when she leans in to kiss him, it's with a sweet, gentleness that he's never experienced with her before. It's all quiet, labored breathing and gentle gasps as they run their hands all over each other. It's a little sappy, and Henry hates to admit that he really, really loves it. It's not hungry and desperate like it usually is - he feels like he can practically hear the soft indie ballad playing in the background as they remove their clothing and he slips inside her.

 

It's all gentle rocking and passionate kisses, and he's got her beneath him, and they're running their hands through each other's hair and gasping into each other's mouths. Casey has this shy smile on her face the whole time, and Henry has to actively fight back  the urge to tell her that he loves her. 

 

She's still Casey, after all, and a confession like that would have her running all the way to New York to pursue comedy across the country, just so she'd never have to hear him say something like that again.

 

But god, it feels so good, and _she_ feels so good, and Henry can't help but feel like this is such a step forward for them, and maybe she's not telling him she loves him or wants to spend her life with him, but he can feel her communicating her feelings through light caresses and delicate kisses. He really can. It's probably the most intimate thing he's ever experienced in his entire life.

 

She wraps her legs around him, and they move as one, pressing their bodies as close together as physically possible, and they come together with shaky breaths. Henry knows that if given the choice, he would stay like this with her for the rest of his life.

 

*     *     *

 

They take it slow. She comes home with him after work a lot, and sometimes he goes over to her place, too. They do casual dinners, and every time things get too emotional, she makes fun of him and keeps herself as distanced as possible. But at least now he knows that she cares. He finally knows what it's like to really _be_ with her, and god, it's so good. He really fucking loves it. He really fucking loves _her_ , he's admitted to himself on more than one occasion now, but he knows those words are much better left unsaid at this stage. 

 

They've been together  - properly together - for exactly 12 days when they have this wedding reception that they're supposed to cater and are suddenly paired up with Valhalla. 

 

He's in such a good mood at the beginning of the gig, before they show up, and he and Casey are kissing, and he's trying to tell her all about how into her he is and how happy she makes him without giving too terribly much away.

 

But then Casey has to take a call, and Valahalla Catering shows up, and everything goes from amazing to shit in all of three minutes.

 

Valhalla's really fucking annoying, and Henry has to pretty much carry the team because Ron is a drunken disaster, and Bobby is on shrooms, and Casey keeps disappearing to take phone calls and asking to talk to him.

 

But where the hell is he supposed to find the time? Things are crazy, and he's doing Ron's job and more, and this blonde bitch (Uda? He thinks her name is…) is on his case the entire time. 

 

He can't remember the last time he was this stressed, and he feels like he's pretty much catering the entire event by himself even though there's another entire catering team here. Henry's doing his best to save Ron's ass, and he's managing it alright, but god, he's exhausted and could really go for a drink and a cigarette right about now.

 

And then suddenly Casey is getting some call about some job on a cruise line doing stand up for six months, and he kind of forgets how to breathe because did she really just use the words 'six months'? As in six months not in LA? As in…away from him? And god, he knows they haven't even been together for a whole two weeks, and he knows her career comes first, but he doesn't know what's happening, and he's fucking terrified all of a sudden. She's walking away from him, and he's in deep shit because it's already time for the next wave of trays to go out, and he's the only one really doing anything, and he's got so much shit to do, and did she really just fucking say _six months_?

 

He's suddenly a bit glad for how busy he is because he honestly does not have the emotional capacity to even consider the idea of Casey leaving him for six months.

 

He just got her.

 

He can't possibly already be losing her.

 

Henry finally gets the chance to escape from the chaos an hour later for a quick cigarette and a deep breath when Casey approaches him for the first time since she got the call.

 

She's telling him how she took the job.

 

How she is leaving _tomorrow_.

 

She kisses him one last time in that perfect way that she does, tells him that she's the worst and that he should be with someone better, and she leaves.

 

It's over in the blink of an eye, and he's left with nothing but a burned out cigarette stub and the residual feeling of her lips on his.


	2. Chapter 2

It's been nine months since Casey has seen Henry. _Nine fucking months_. Since she'd gotten a gig on that cruise and said goodbye to him, leaving him high and dry.

 

She still feels like shit about it. She really had been kind of crazy about him, but what was she supposed to do? Not take the job? She _had_ to. What if it had led to something? It didn't, of course, because that's just her luck, but it was the principle of the matter.

 

Besides…sometimes when he looked at her, he got this _look_ in his eyes like he wanted to spend his life with her, like he could see forever in her eyes or some emotional bullshit like that.

 

What scared her even more was that sometimes she _enjoyed_ that look.

 

She's still not sure if the stand-up gig could've come at a better time or worse time.

 

It's been three quarters of a year since she saw that devastated look on his face, and she still can't quite get it out of her head.

 

She's really got to, though, because she's got this boyfriend she met on the cruise named Paul, and he's actually really cool and cute and she likes him, and they've been together for like six months, which is five months and seventeen days longer than she was with Henry, so. 

 

All she can hope for is that things won't be too totally awkward because she's going back to Party Down. The cruise gig had been fun and everything, but it didn't end up leading anywhere, and now she's broke and needing work all over again. She called Alan Duck, and he hooked her up with Henry's team because apparently they were needing a replacement, anyway, because he'd just fired someone and…Henry is team leading? 

 

She laughs when Alan says it on the phone because he can't possibly be serious? Okay, I mean, sure, Henry had kind of been running things during their last job, but he was _Henry_. Henry who would hook up with her while on the job and take drugs and drink too much and pop some Vicodin while bartending. Him? Team leading? So she lets out this breathy chuckle, but it turns out Alan Duck is totally serious and that Henry is actually pretty good at the job? And apparently he's okay with her joining his team, so. 

 

That's happening.

 

It's totally awkward and uncomfortable when she first shows up and sees him. He's being all weird and boss-like and totally just _not_ the Henry she was sleeping with before she left town, and it's really freaking her out.

 

He's actually being kind of a dick, come to think of it, but he looks really stressed, so maybe it's just that. Or maybe he hates her, which she supposes he'd be in the right to feel.

 

She's busy filling up trays with food when he walks in, all heavy breathing, and irritated, pinched expression. She baits him a bit, and he asks her how she is. She talks a bit about the stand-up gig and tells him she's seeing someone - it kind of just slips out, and she doesn't want things to be awkward, but she does think he should probably know? Just for, like, the sake of information or whatever.

 

He just sort of nods like it's not a big deal, and she guesses it really isn't, like, it's been nine months. She could have birthed a child in that time period.

 

Anyway, it's super awkward, and apparently that new woman, Lydia, has been listening in because she's decided they're best friends and is becoming heavily invested in her weird and twisted relationship with Henry.

 

Then, of course, Ron waltzes in for a visit and asks if she and Henry are back together, which makes things about one thousand times even more uncomfortable. But things really are getting crazy, so she gets back to work, like he asks. 

 

It's starting to seem like things might be okay between them, despite the awkward pauses and stumbling words, until she finds out from the new bartender, of all people, by mistake, that Henry is dating Uda Bengt.

 

Jesus Fucking Christ.  

 

Uda fucking Bengt? That blonde cunt who works for Valhalla? 

 

Well, then.

 

She told Henry about Paul, but Henry failed to mention he was dating a woman he met the day they broke up.

 

 _Fantastic_.

 

But whatever, she's just going to go about her business even though that shit is so fucking weird, and she starts serving people, and it's not long before Henry is serving people right along side her. Ugh. Everyone keeps fucking _staring_ at them, so she asks him if they can talk in private and tells him that she knows about Uda, and she feels a little self-loathing for making a whole thing out of this. But she really wants to know if things are going to continue to be this awkward because she honestly does not want to work in this environment if it's going to continue to be this way.

 

Casey is just totally fed up. So she flips a coin. Because what else is she supposed to do, really? She flips a coin, and it settles matters for her. She'll stay.

 

She's starting to wonder what the fuck she's gotten herself into. 

 

*     *     *

 

Casey's really starting to think that maybe she should quit the whole comedian thing. 

 

She's up for this part in an Apatow movie, which like, really, should be totally fucking amazing and holy shit what a wonderful opportunity, or whatever, but it's just…not. Of course, if she got it, yeah, it would be the coolest thing ever and would pretty much justify every decision she's ever made in her life that had to do with her career.

 

But god, she just had this horrifying moment of clarity when she was sitting around, waiting for her turn to audition, because it was her and all these girls who look exactly like her and probably act exactly like her. And yeah, okay, they laughed when she auditioned, which was great, but what is she even really doing? She feels like she's just another stupid girl convinced she's going to make it big, when in reality, there are a million other women out there who are exactly like her, trying to do exactly the same thing.

 

Is the whole chasing her dreams thing just a childish fantasy? Shit, maybe her ex-husband was right. Ugh, what a shitty thought.

 

Henry is pissed at her because she keeps taking phone calls on the job, but she's up for a part in an Apatow film for christ's sake, what's she supposed to do, not take the call? She tries really, really hard not to get her hopes up. Really, it's such a tiny part. Just a couple of lines.

 

But it's a fucking Apatow movie. Like, what if she gets it? Dave Franco only had like one line in Superbad, and look at him now! isn't he one of the stars of Scrubs, or something and getting a bunch of movies? Okay, well, he's also a Franco, so he's not really a good example, but whatever. _Still_.

 

But it's not going to happen, obviously, like, it's an Apatow movie. No one gets that role, right? Even the tiny one.

 

Except she totally gets it. Casey is not a crier - not at all. But she has to hold back tears when she gets the call, and all she can really think is _fuck_ , she needs to find Henry and tell him.

 

His grin is really genuine when she tells him, and they share this awkward hug because he's got this bin in-between them, but she doesn't care because holy shit, she doesn't think she's ever been this excited in her entire life.

 

She's going to be in a fucking Judd Apatow movie.

 

Casey can't help but feel like she's finally made it.

 

*     *     *

 

Paul is getting, like… _really_ lame. She's been able to feel them drifting apart more and more since she started back up at work with Party Down, and Casey is kind of really nervous about what that means, but whatever.

 

And she's really irritable because, _ugh_ , she's hormonal, and she found a shit ton of porn on Paul's computer when she logged on to check her email this morning. And not just one tab, but like… _tons_. Tons of tabs and separate windows, like, _jesus_ , who can even watch that much porn? There were tons of busty blondes, too, which really pisses her off because fucking hell, if you have to watch porn, can you at least watch some that might look at least vaguely look like your girlfriend?

 

Ugh, whatever, he's been pissing her off a lot lately, anyway. Paul was way cooler when they were still on the cruise. Maybe it was because she was away and he was there and it's not like she had a lot of options? Which makes her feel like a bitch and kind of a whore because does that mean she'll just fuck anything that spends enough time in front of her?

 

But really, what the fuck was the deal with all the porn?

 

So then she shows up at work, and apparently they're catering a fucking orgy. 

 

That's it. She's decided. Men are fucking disgusting.

 

They're all pigs.

 

Seriously.

 

Casey spends the whole evening in a really crappy mood and taking most of it out on Henry, who is totally blindsided by it all, and realistically, probably doesn't deserve it, but whatever. He can take it. 

 

Then Henry calls her 'just one of the waiters' when he's on the phone with his girlfriend, and she can't quite help the way she can feel this pressure in her chest when he says it. Which just ends up annoying her even more, really. But she just sort of sighs and tries to help him out with his situation and explains the female mind to him the best she can in under two minutes.

 

She really likes the feeling, suddenly, getting to talk to him again for real, so she tells him about finding all the porn, and he asks if that's why she's been so pissy, and she also tells him she's on her period, and he just kind of gets this disturbed smile on his face that for some reason she kind of likes. 

 

It feels a little bit like she's got her friend back, and she's starting to realize just how much she's missed this.

 

*     *     *

 

She dumps Paul.

 

He doesn't understand why, and Casey doesn't have a good explanation. She's never actually mentioned Henry to him, which should have been a warning sign from the very beginning, but she can't explain things now.

 

And it's not like she dumps him _for_ Henry, anyway. He's still dating Uda, from what she's aware of, and she's happy for him.

 

Sort of.

 

Ish.

 

Okay, she totally hates that he has a girlfriend, and she totally hates herself for hating that he has a girlfriend because they broke up almost a year ago, and she really shouldn't be jealous. But she kind of is, and she knows that Henry is the reason she's been distant from Paul. She knows that he's the reason Paul has started to seem really lame.

 

Henry just…well, he gets her. And she likes him. She doesn't get along with very many people, at all. She kind of fucking hates people, really, but she doesn't hate Henry, like _at all_ , and the sex they used to have was kind of incredible. And even though they were only a real couple for less than two weeks, she really fucking liked him a lot. Way more than she's ever admitted to herself.

 

And she hates to admit it, but she still kind of does.

 

Kind of a lot.

 

Not that she's going to do anything about it, so whatever. It's not a big deal.

 

But then they have to cater this funeral, and she's in a bad mood because she hasn't been able to give Paul a proper explanation of why she suddenly dumped him, and she's hungover because she went out with Seth and the guys last night and stayed out way too late and drank way too much (which she tries really hard to play off as nothing but oh my god she knows Seth Rogen and went out for drinks with him and his friends oh my god oh my god oh my god).

 

She smiles at him when she totally name drops at Henry in reference to what she was up to the night before, but her heart isn't really in it because now she's in this ridiculous place where every time she sees his stupid face, she wants to kiss it, and she can't.

 

So, there's that.

 

*     *     *

 

They're totally catering Steve Guttenberg's birthday, which as far as events go, is probably going to be really awesome.

 

Turns out the actual situation is way more awesome. He actually cancelled his party and forgot to call Party Down about it, so it's just them and his amazing house and all the food and booze, so Guttenberg decides that they may as well throw their own party and tells them to invite whoever.

 

Casey doesn't really feel like inviting anyone, but she's digging the really nice wine and his epic DVD collection, so all in all, it's shaping up to be a really good evening.

 

Henry joins her while she's perusing the guy's film collection and points out some movie called Sundown Strip that he apparently had a role in years ago. Holy shit, she has _got_ to see this movie before she leaves tonight.

 

They all get roped into reading Roman's screenplay out loud, and god, that is some really terrible writing. While everyone else is distracted and discussing it, she sneaks off and grabs Guttenberg's copy of Sundown Strip and sneaks off to his media room (more like personal movie theater, really, but whatever).

 

As it turns out, Henry can actually act.

 

Really.

 

He's actually fucking _great_. 

 

Casey can't believe she never knew he was actually talented. She's known him for a couple years now, really, she slept with him for months, and she dated him, and she honestly had _no idea_.

 

He was like…an _actual actor_.

 

She can't fucking believe she'd had no idea. Even while kind of sort of actually falling for the guy, she'd had no clue.

 

It actually makes her really sad. He'd been this legitimate actor before he killed his career with those commercials, and now that she knows it, it's actually heartbreaking. He'd been good, and he'd given it all up in the face of rejection, and she can't help but wonder if he misses it.

 

He's got to, hasn't he? He was so _good_ , and the movie she saw was old, and his part wasn't even very big, and she could still tell that he was fucking great and that he fucking loved it. She wonders how she would have felt about him back then - before he was a self-labeled loser who didn't give a shit about anything. She wonders how she would have felt about him back when he gave a shit.

 

She feels stupid for it, but god, she really wants him to get back into acting so that maybe she can find out.

 

But it turns out she gets to see him in his acting element not long after she begins to wonder.

 

God, she really loves baiting Henry because it pretty much always works, and this time is no different. Casey has pretty much convinced him to act his ass off when they perform Roman and his partner's newly edited script, and he's actually really fucking good. He really is acting the shit out of this scene, and she's impressed because he's totally out of practice, and he's still legitimately _good_.

 

She fakes her death when her character dies and falls into his arms as he says his lines with real passion. 

 

And then Henry is kissing her, and okay, it's all an act, and she's not kissing him back because her character is dead, but it's the first time she's felt his lips on hers in just over a year now, and she can feel the stirrings of a memory deep inside her.

 

She's missed him.

 

They're awkward in the aftermath, so she starts on her third glass of wine to ease the tension she can feel building.

 

Casey is working her way through glass number four when she strips down to her underwear and joins Henry in the hot tub.

 

She tells him she saw his scene in the movie, and god, he really looks upset, and she doesn't like seeing him upset, and she wants to know if he misses acting (because he's so fucking amazing at it, dammit), but he's looking all pissy and emotional and is rambling about not missing the rejection.

 

She just wants him to shut up, really, and she also can't stop thinking about the feel of his lips on hers, so she puts her glass of wine down and makes her way across the hot tub and presses her lips against his.

 

They melt together for several moments, and it's really, really good, and she nibbles a little on his bottom lip the way she's suddenly just remembered that he likes, but then he's pushing her away and telling her to stop, and she can't help but feel incredibly disappointed and mildly humiliated.

 

"Don't do that," he tells her, and she's biting her lip and backing away and telling him that she and Paul broke up and shit, what is she even doing, he has a girlfriend, and she can't believe she just made a pass at him, and she feels like a total idiot.

 

She feels like absolute shit and kind wants to cry, so she pulls her knees into her chest and refuses to meet his eyes when he tells her that when she left him, she broke his heart.

 

And god, it's so awkward, and she actually feels like the worst fucking person in the entire world, and the idea of just curling up in a ball and dying is starting to sound really appealing. So when everyone else shows up to get in the hot tub a few seconds later, she bolts from the party without another word.

 

She feels all vulnerable and dumb, and god, she hates this feeling. Moments like this one are the reason she avoids emotional, relationship type bullshit. 

 

Things are going to be totally awkward at work from now on, she's sure, and Casey is not looking forward to their next job one bit.

 

When she gets home that night, she goes straight for the bottle of vodka she's got in her cabinet and pours herself three shots, downing them consecutively, and then passes out on her couch, wet bra still soaking through her work shirt.

 

*     *     *

 

She's crazy late to work the next time she sees him, and she feels really shitty, but her audition ran long. Henry is really nice and cool about it, but then he makes this passive aggressive comment about their relationship and the way she treated him, so she ends up stumbling through this apology for not only making a pass at him the other night, but for the way she treated him the previous year.

 

He takes it in stride, though, and they decide to blame the booze and start doing some schtick about the prohibition, and thank god they're cracking jokes again so maybe things are okay? 

 

Henry says they are, and they're both laughing a bit, and Casey finally feels like she can breathe easily.

 

They work for a bit, and they're off to grab some wine for the party when they see this woman, Margarite, who thinks Casey is totally gay, so she shamelessly flirts with her because, really, she's been wanting this chick to cast her in something for ages.

 

She and Henry are in the dressing room backstage, grabbing some stuff, and Casey starts flirting a bit, and he's flirting right back, and god, it's like some sort of addiction or something. She's always had a bit of a pension for flirting with inappropriate people, but it's never been this bad. 

 

She's put this veil on, one of the costumes from the play, and is joking with Henry about how maybe that would be more his speed, and god, all of a sudden, he's telling her that one of the reasons he was upset the other night was because he was tempted by what she was offering.

 

Shit.

 

Casey hates that she's a little happy about it because she so totally does not want to be the other woman, and she totally does not want to be that chick who starts fucking her boss, and she also so totally doesn't want to break his heart again.

 

So, yeah, _shit_.

 

And then he's kissing her.

 

He's a really amazing kisser, and she can't deny her residual feelings for him anymore because she wants nothing more than the continued feeling of his lips on hers. But then he pulls away because Lydia walks in, and fucking shit, they've been caught.

 

But wait, she's still wearing that stupid veil, so maybe not.

 

Henry rushes Lydia out, and they decide they absolutely cannot keep up this behavior. Of course, that leads to more kissing. Apparently they're _great_ decision makers.

 

But they stop, and Henry leaves with the wine before they can get any farther. Because apparently they are really bad at stopping themselves and _would_ go farther.

 

She's starting to think that things couldn't get any worse when suddenly things get much, much worse.

 

Now the theatre owner totally thinks Henry was making out with his wife and not her and is ready to kill someone (quite possibly himself), and it's not a pretty scenario.

 

Annnnnnd apparently his wife really was making out with someone backstage, and that person was Margarite.

 

Well then.

 

Guess the flirting was for naught, but oh well.

 

And at least Henry isn't getting murdered or anything, so that's nice.

 

But by the end of the night, Casey certainly knows one thing - shit gets out of hand when she and Henry hook-up inappropriately. 

 

Then they're packing up the van, and she's accidentally revealing that they sort of hooked-up backstage (fuck, she's got to stop _doing_ that).

 

She texts him, "Later, Pollard," instead of saying goodbye in person when she leaves because she's pretty sure if she saw him in the flesh again, they would end up jumping each other's bones. And as tempting as that sounds, it's a pretty horrible idea at this point.

 

Even if she's sure the sex would be good.

 

Like, really… _really_ , good.

 

Fuck, it would be good.

 

But that doesn't matter! He has a girlfriend, and she's not going to be that woman. She's really, really not. 

 

So she goes home alone and does everything in her power to convince herself that it was a smart decision to do so.

 

*     *     *

 

Casey takes that night to do some serious thinking.

 

She's not going to be the other woman. She's not going to be Henry's girl on the side. It's not happening. Even if she can't stop staring at his lips when he talks, there's no way in hell. It's just not happening. She's not okay with it. 

 

So she's thinking they've got two options (if he's feeling the way she does, at least, and god, she really hopes he is). Option one: they stop. Cold turkey. No kissing, no flirting, no nothing.  Write all their indiscretions off as drunken mistakes. Remain strictly professional. They both move on with their lives and don't look back. Option two: Henry breaks it off with Uda, and they start hooking up again. Possibly get back together. 

 

The truth is…she does want to get back together. For real. She wants to go the whole nine yards with him, and the idea terrifies her. They seriously dated for all of 12 days the first time around, but honestly, she's been crazy about him for a long time. And she was really, really happy when she was with him. And that scared the shit out of her. It still scares the shit out of her.

 

But fuck it. She wants him. She wants to be with him. 

 

It was so much easier the first time around, when she knew where he stood. When she knew how he felt about her. But now he's got this girlfriend, and she has absolutely no idea what she means to him. 

 

She wonders if he has any idea what she feels for him.

 

Probably not.

 

Casey is hardly an open book.

 

But she really does have feelings for him. Strong ones. Ones that she doesn't really want to admit to herself at all because that shit is scary. But they are definitely there. They were there when she was still dating Paul, and they're there now. 

 

The real question is what the hell is she going to do with them.

 

*     *     *

 

She decides to approach Henry about it the next day at the company picnic. 

 

She plays it all casual, as usual, but god, she's actually super nervous when she tells him their options.

 

It would seriously, seriously suck to get rejected by him.

 

She'd probably deserve it, of course, because she unceremoniously dumped him last year and broke his heart and totally fucked everything up, so. She'd understand.

 

But god, she really wants him to want her.

 

Not just the way she already knows he wants her because she knows how he kisses when he wants to get it on, and she was on the receiving end of more than one of those kisses last night.

 

No, she's just kind of fucking terrified that he's not going to want to be with her for real.

 

It feels like the most ridiculous role reversal, and she's wondering if this is how he felt last year. If maybe it's her turn to feel what he did.

 

She tells him the options, and he tells her that maybe he can talk to Uda the next time he sees her. Casey can sense his reluctance. She's hardly pleased. But suddenly a Valhalla Catering van is pulling up, and she just sort of chuckles under her breath because she's made her point. The ball is in his court. 

 

She can't help but grin when he goes off to talk to Uda.

 

But when he comes back, she feels nothing but disappointment.

 

Apparently he'd gone in there with every intention of breaking things off, and now he was all kinds of confused. Uda's offering him all these that she can't. A solid income. Normalcy. _Stability_. God, she wants to be able to offer him stability. She really does. But she can't. She can promise that she'll try not to fuck him over again and that she'll do her best not to break his heart, but her career is always going to come first, and they both know it. 

 

She doesn't know how to feel when he tells her being with her would be rolling the dice.

 

So she swallows hard, and walks away, off to win this stupid competition and kick some misogynist ass. 

 

And so she does. Casey totally kicks ass at all the contests and wins the all-around. She becomes a little addicted to feeling of winning, to be honest. It's kind of a high. 

 

They lose the stupid fucking kickball game, though, and Henry heads off in Uda's direction afterward. She asks where he's going.

 

"To roll the dice."

 

She doesn't know what to say.

 

But he's all smiles when he comes back twenty minutes later and tells her that he and Uda are over and asks if she wants to come back to his place.

 

Her voice feels stuck in her throat, so she just nods silently with a tiny smile on her face, and he tells her to follow him in her car.

 

She parks next to him when they get to his new place, and he shows her the way to his apartment. 

 

"So where's the view of that Taco Bell you keep bragging about?" she asks with a cheeky grin the second they get inside, and he just laughs and gestures towards the nearest window. 

 

"Gorgeous, isn't it?" he asks, gazing at the the fast food joint.

 

"Oh yeah," she agrees, "Really beautiful landscape. I can see why you kept talking about it."

 

He shoves her good-naturedly, and she rolls her eyes and leans into his chest. 

 

"So," she says heavily.

 

"So," he echoes. 

 

"Do you want to…talk?"

 

He raises his eyebrows at her. "You? Want to talk?"

 

"Shut up," she mumbles. 

 

But he nods and grabs her hand and leads her to the couch, and they sit down. She kicks off her shoes and crosses her legs underneath her and tugs awkwardly at a strand of her hair, shoving it behind her ear.

 

"So I guess we have two new options," she says quietly.

 

"We do," he agrees.

 

"We can either go back to what we were way back when we were just hooking up," she starts. She takes a deep breath, "Or we could…you know…do this. For real this time."

 

Casey stares at her knees. 

 

Henry makes a noise of agreement and scratches his head, and she swallows hard.

 

"Which, um…" she starts, "Which of those do you want?"

 

He sighs. "I think you know which one I want."

 

She lets out a dark laugh. "That's the thing, though," she admits. "I have absolutely no idea what you want or where you head is at, for once."

 

His eyes widen. "Yeah?" he asks.

 

"Yeah. Is this what you felt like all the time last year?"

 

This causes him to actually snort. "Sounds about right."

 

"Sorry about that."

 

"It's okay."

 

She shakes her head. "It's not, actually. But, all the same…I'm sorry I treated you like shit."

 

"Thanks."

 

He really sounds like he means it.

 

"So, um," Casey clears her throat, "You, uh, didn't exactly answer the question…"

 

"I really like the second option."

 

"The second option, as in doing this…"

 

"For real, yeah," he agrees.

 

She can feel this stupid grin forming on her mouth, and she kind of really wants to cover her face in embarrassment, but she doesn't get the chance because he leans across the couch quickly and captures her lips between his, closing the space between them. 

 

Casey laughs into the kiss because she realizes suddenly that she probably tastes like hot dogs and ketchup from the hot dog eating contest she'd participated in earlier on in the day. 

 

He pulls away, smiling, and asks, "What?"

 

But she just shakes her head and pulls him back in for more, sucking his lower lip between her teeth and feeling satisfied at the little moan he lets out. 

 

She grabs him by the collar of his stupid polo shirt and says, "So, you wanna show me the view from your bedroom?"

 

"You know, I think that sounds like a really good idea."

 

She tosses her grease stained dress to the floor and follows him into his room.

 

"You look like such a nerd," she tells him and yanks his polo over his head.

 

"Thank you for that," he tells her. "You sure do know how to compliment a guy."

 

She takes in the sight of him shirtless and says, "It's okay, you look better now."

 

But he grins at that statement and kicks off his shoes, and brings his hands to her face to kiss her again. He grabs her ass, and she jumps up and wraps her legs around his waist, pressing against him and grabbing at his hair. He walks them over to his bed, and they collapse onto it together, limbs tangling. Henry makes a show of unhooking and removing her bra, then kisses his way from her lips down her stomach, and she lets out an audible moan when he slips her panties off and a couple fingers inside her. She throws her head back and arches against him, rocking along with the motion of his hand. 

 

He's got his face buried in her cleavage when she's pretty sure she hears him mutter to himself, "Damn, I missed these."

 

"Pollard, are talking to my breasts?" she asks in a ragged but amused voice, and he looks up at her, surprised, like he has no idea he'd said it out loud.

 

"Uh…"

 

She just laughs and pushes him off of her, and glances over at his nightstand and asks, "Still keep the condoms in your top drawer?"

 

"Yep," he replies and unbuttons his pants, pushing them down and around his ankles, then kicking them off. Casey retrieves a condom with a grin and makes her way over to him. She kisses him gently and helps him out of his boxers.

 

Casey rips the condom wrapper open with her teeth and rolls the latex down the length of his cock. She directs him to the edge of the bed and pushes him onto his back when his knees buckle at the edge.

 

She straddles him and meets his eyes for a brief moment before she sinks down onto him with a sweet sigh. Their lips meet as they find their rhythm, a steady give and take, and they breathe their gasps and moans into each other's mouths between kisses.

 

God, he feels so good inside her, and it's been so long since she was last with him in this way. She'd forgotten it could be this good. She increases her pace and starts moving with abandon on top of him. Casey's mouth drop open, and she cries out desperately when she comes, tightening and pulsating around him. Henry grips her hips so tightly that she thinks they might bruise, and he follows after her with a shuddering gasp.

 

They're sated and boneless against each other, breathing heavily and recovering from the exertion. Henry puts an arm around her and rolls them over so that they're side by side, his arm still draped across her body. 

 

"I missed this," she admits to him in a whisper. Because it's true, and she feels like he deserves to know. She knows that he knows she's talking about more than the sex.

 

His eyes widen in surprise, but he just pulls her a bit closer and murmurs, "Me too."

 

It's early evening, and dusk is approaching from out the window, but Casey is exhausted. She yawns a little too loudly.

 

"Tired?" he asks.

 

"Yeah."

 

"You want to take a nap? We can order in Chinese later. Maybe watch a movie or shamelessly mock Roman's latest script."

 

Casey laughs under her breath and nods. "Don't think I'll be eating much, though. I really didn't know I had it in me to eat that many hot dogs."

 

When Henry laughs this time, he laughs with his full body, shaking with laughter.

 

"Yeah, I don't know _how_ you managed that."

 

She just sort of shrugs and hits him playfully, and they scoot up on the bed until their heads hit the pillows. They lay side by side, arms touching in a point of contact. She hates cuddling. She needs her breathing room if she wants to sleep. But she likes touching him - her arm pressed up against his. She likes the closeness without the stuffiness and dependency of an embrace. But she likes the points of contact, with her arm pressed against his and her head titled down to his shoulder. She feels anchored to him just enough to continue to breathe freely and fall asleep.

 

*     *     *

 

They fall back into their dynamic easily enough. Henry's given up his job as team leader to Ron, so he's back to having a lot of time on his hands - time he likes to spend hooking up with Casey. She's certainly not complaining. 

 

She kind of likes the way he doesn't give a fuck about anything but her, but it is sometimes mildly alarming. But she loves the way he lets her take charge of the relationship and set things at her own pace. 

 

They're at work a few days later when she starts teasing him about it, telling him that he's kind of the lady, and she's kind of the man. It's all in good fun, really, and honestly, she kind of just really loves dominating him, but he makes a whole thing out of it later by trying to prove his manhood when all she wants to do is have some awesome sex with him in the workplace. 

 

They're locked out of the van - where they were planning on getting it on - and instead of just calling Triple A like she suggested about a thousand times, he's on some manly mission to break into the van himself, when if he would stop being an idiot and just call somebody, they could be getting it on right now. 

 

It's kind of infuriating and endearing all at once.

 

They're making out in the kitchen while he tries to fashion a tool to pop the lock with a wire hanger of all things. What is he even doing? Now she's been turned on for ages and just really wants to hook-up with him, but he won't call Triple A, and just… _ugh_. Yep, he's on some sort of crusade to prove that he's a man, to be sure. Especially when he suddenly ups and ditches her to go piss in a champagne glass because of some dumb guy code or whatever.

 

Of course his tool doesn't work because it's just a wire hanger and he isn't a small time criminal, so she has to spend the whole night irritated and sexually frustrated. 

 

Henry does manage his way into the van somehow, though, and she gives him this pleased little smile when he ushers her inside.

 

The sex is fast and rough because they've both been wanting it for hours now, and she's pretty sure they're actually making the van rock a little. But it's really good, and it's over within a few minutes. 

 

They have to get back to working the party and clearing up the supplies right afterwards. She's getting ready to head home and asks him to call her later, and he's pretending to be all manly and in charge and says he will if he feels like it. But she grins because it's all so fake, so she leans in and gives him a quick kiss before she leaves and loves seeing the grin on his face as she walks away.

 

*     *     *

 

Casey could really care less about sports. They're catering some guys party who is maybe getting drafted to play pro or something, and it's just going to be a bunch of his beefy football buddies and a lot of jello shots and bean dip and other things that Casey doesn't really quite understand or give a flying fuck about.

 

Henry looks really cute today for some reason, even though he's dressed in the same outfit she sees him in all the time.

 

All in all, she's just in a really good mood because things are really good with Henry, and she's got the Apatow premiere coming up, and she's had some really good stand-up shows lately, and she's just feeling really good about her act, and things are just…they're good. It's kind of a new experience for her. She likes it.

 

But then she's at the bar asking for some shots to bring to the guests, and he's in not so many words complaining about not being her plus one to the premiere which is just ridiculous because if he would stop being passive aggressive about it for one second and just ask why she didn't invite him, he would understand that it's because she's bringing her mom. But he didn't ask, he just assumed, and now her good mood is kind of killed, and she's just going to let him go along thinking it because, like, _whatever_. If he wants to make a big deal out of it, she's going to let him. She doesn't fucking care.

 

And he totally does make a thing out of it and is talking to one of the guests about it, and she's roped into this conversation about why she's not taking him to the premiere and why she never invites him to her comedy shows, and ugh, is this conversation even necessary? They're happy, aren't they? But she just sighs and tells him that she's bringing her mother with her to the premiere because she doesn't believe in Casey's career at all and just sees comedy as this hobby, and she just really wants to rub her success in her mom's face. 

 

Then she is forced into explaining about why he's never invited to her shows, and ugh, why the hell does this conversation even have to be a thing? She fucking hates talking about stuff like this. Communication is not her strong suit. She tells him about the animatronic love doll character she plays and talks about how easily jealous he gets, and god, she can feel him getting jealous about it from across the bar when he's not even watching her do the act.

 

This is why she hates relationships. She hates jealous bullshit and emotional drama and baggage and the works. So when Lydia approaches her with some theoretical job where she makes $500 pretending to be the football player's girlfriend for the evening, she can't help the somewhat spiteful grin that spreads across her face when she accepts the offer.

 

It's income after all, isn't it?

 

Except she accidentally totally says the wrong name of the guy on live television, and then the guy's drunk boyfriend stumbles onto the camera and starts talking about their love and an affair, and wow, shit just got _real_.

 

He calls her that night, and they make up over the phone, and they talk about his jealousy and her emotional distance, and it's kind of miserable and difficult and she hates it. But she also knows that they'll be better for it, and they are.

 

It's worth it, she knows, because she really likes him, and they jumped through enough hoops to get to where they are now, and when they aren't dealing with this shit, he actually makes her really happy.

 

She tells him as much and wants to bury her face in a pillow and never see him again after she does, and thank god they're on the phone and he can't see her face because there's no way in hell she'd be able to meet his eyes right now. 

 

But god, she can practically hear him smiling through the phone, and he tells her all about how his shit runs deep, and they make plans to meet up the following afternoon to see the new action movie at the theater down the street from her place.

 

She throws popcorn at him in the theater and rolls her eyes at him when he wants to hold her hand, but all in all, Casey is really glad that Henry is there with her.

 

*     *     *

 

They're catering Constance's wedding, which is just the craziest fucking thing in the world because she's known the guy for like two months, and he's rich, and it all just seems really questionable, in her opinion.

 

She wants to take her mind off things and go off in some dark corner (or the back of her car, maybe) and have sex with Henry, but when she goes to find him in the kitchen, he's really invested in some script he's been reading for Kyle.

 

He's got this look of excited disbelief on his face, and Casey really likes it. She's never seen him like this before, at all. He's shitty at hiding the expression on his face that says he seriously seems to want that role. That it would be perfect for him. She decides that inspiration is a really good look on him.

 

Of course, right after that, she has to spend the next hour running all over the party, trying to either talk Constance out of the wedding and her future husband out of the pre-nup, and somehow Henry ends up siding on the side of _love_ , which she supposes she really should have seen coming. But whatever. Constance and Howard go through with it.

 

Then Casey gets the call from her manager.

 

She escapes into one of the back rooms to take the call, and she knows it's really horrible news the second he greets her on the phone.

 

They cut her scene. 

 

She's been cut out of the Apatow movie.

 

Casey hasn't cried in three years, but she lets out a sob a second after she hangs up the phone. 

 

 _Fuck_.

 

She's been cut.

 

She been fucking cut.

 

Her big fucking break isn't a big break at all. It's nothing. _She's_ nothing.

 

She's never going to make it.

 

She curls up in a ball on the floor, clutches her knees, and cries until she can't anymore.

 

Henry finds her half an hour later.

 

She's still sniffling when he walks into the room, and she does her best to dry her eyes and swallow the lump that won't leave her throat when he asks what's wrong. 

 

He does seem to feel bad. Like, really bad.

 

But it doesn't matter. It doesn't fucking matter at all because there's nothing he can say that's going to convince her she's going to make it.

 

He's trying to tell her that he believes in her, but how can he? Really? He quit acting. He gave up on his dream. If he can't believe it for himself, how the fuck is he going to believe it for her?

 

He can't.

 

She tells him there is nothing that he can say to make it better and walks away.

 

*     *     *

 

There's something he can _do_ , though.

 

And he knows it.

 

It's with that thought in his head that he goes into the audition for Velour, that indie Kyle had shown him the script for, the Monday following the wedding.

 

He doesn't get it, of course.

 

That would be just too lucky.

 

He get's a call back, though, and they tell him that they'd love to see him read for them again sometime in the future. He actually feels pretty good about his chances on their next project.

 

He tells Casey all about it, and it's the first time he's seen her really smile in days, and god, he's so completely in love with her.

 

And it's more than enough to make Casey believe again.


End file.
